Listen when your teen speaks. Don't say anything if she's gained weight. Everyone is different though, and the words you use can mean everything to her. Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Your child successfully meets her weight goal but then keeps upping the goal. "), but you should talk about it honestly -- without letting it become an obsession. ''The best approach is to distinguish the person from her weight,'' Dr. Walsh said. Build your teen’s self-esteem and self-respect. Share. Finding more than one activity will decrease that repetitive feeling and keep her excited. Rather than behaving civilly by holding a door open for her… Your daughter will seem very mature one day and then silly and giggly the next. Be there to listen when they need to talk without lecturing or trying to fix the problem. The less we say the more able they are able to listen. Your daughter's menstrual periods stop. How to Help Teens without Harming Them She may experience feelings of self-consciousnesses and ridicule from her peers, and she may not know what she needs to do to lose the extra pounds. I try to talk to her and show affection but she pushes me away. Challenging the beliefs they bring to why they are overeating or avoiding food are best handled with a light touch. More is always less with teenagers. Now, if your daughter is asking your opinion about her weight, she maybe wanting to open up. Compliment your teen on his or her efforts. Not her body. Placing myself in your daughters spot I wouldnt want to hear the word fat. You shouldn't lie to your child about her weight ("No, you're not fat! It can feel as if you’re walking on eggshells—on one hand you want to address the problem, and on the other, you fear that you could say the wrong thing and exacerbate it. There is a right and wrong way to talk to your teen. Talk to your teen about his or her self-image and offer reassurance that healthy body shapes vary. An appointment with a dietitian or other health care provider, if not inspired by your teen, may be unsuccessful. Really talk to her. I am the mother of a 16-year-old daughter. The teenage years can be challenging, especially for a young girl who is overweight. Encourage him or her to pursue talents and interests. It's important for you to really talk with your daughter in order to understand her. How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works. Remember that the most important person here is you and the most important voice is your own. Or talk to your mother. Teens are at an especially high-risk of taking dangerous measures to lose weight. Being a good parent for your teenage daughter is about getting to know her and encouraging her to make wise decisions. By Evelyn Resh . For years, the teenage girl endured soul-crushing abuse from schoolmates, strangers and even her family because of her weight. … Don't make or allow hurtful nicknames, comments or jokes based on a person's physical characteristics, weight or body shape. close. Whether or not you want to talk in detail to your child about weight might depend on what you expect them to do about it. Provide lots of healthy food options in your home. Decouple healthy diets and exercise from weight loss or body-image related goals. If you have a daughter who you suspect might be struggling with an eating disorder, it’s hard to know where to start the conversation. Should your daughter complain that it's unfair that girls have dress codes and boys don't, you can agree, and introduce the concept of a double-standard. When fitness is fun it becomes a desire rather than a chore. If your daughter is overweight, discuss strategies she can use to lose weight. My teenage daughter has put on a lot of weight and I'm worried that it's going to make her unhappy. Teach your daughter how to respect herself and her body, and talk about sex in the context of a loving, healthy relationship. Talk to your best friend. You could answer by saying "I think you are fine, but its not a bad thing if you want to lose a little weight". Children up to the age of 7 have little direct control over what they eat and how they spend their time. My friend wasn’t sure whether to let her. When Your Teen Isn’t Concerned about Weight. Photo: iStock . Copy link. NEDA’s Parent Toolkit - Learn about eating disorder myths, treatment and insurance information, and how to support a loved one in recovery. And this is precisely what Michelle … Sadly, you’re hardly alone if your child is worried about his or her body size. But as much as we want to connect, we don’t want to be their buddy. Listening to what your child is saying about her or his eating is the place to start. Encourage her to share her emotions without judging her so she’ll be more comfortable telling you things in the future. Respect your teen's accomplishments, and support his or her goals. Here are some things you can say instead. While we have had all the talks about her changing body and women's health, now that she is older there are more topics to discuss. My teenage daughter has become angry, rude and distant . Talk to your partner about it. Let’s take a typical scenario: You want to talk to your teenage son about his “irresponsible” behavior (maybe it’s playing too many games, not doing his homework or neglecting his chores). Fasting, compulsive exercise, fad diets, or even purging are just a few of the unhealthy ways many of them try to lose weight. 10 ways to talk to your child about weight. As their anchor, you’re also their doormat, chauffeur, punching bag, therapist and enemy. Avoid talking about your own body in a derogatory way. By Kathryn Westcott BBC News Magazine. How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Weight. Talk about the benefits of physical activity to stay healthy and strong, not to lose weight. When it comes to food choices and weight, few of us are comfortable talking. “Children are learning about sex from the very start, just watching the people around them,” Lavender says. And if you get into a situation where your mental preparation eludes you, listen to your gut. How to Talk to Your Daughter About an Eating Disorder. Do not express a desire to lose weight in front of them or talk about the diet you are on. And for the record, if the pediatrician isn’t worried, you shouldn’t be either. It could even be damaging. To help your teenage daughter start losing weight I would advise her to find activities that are fun and get her moving. Again, a better approach would be to emphasize nutrition and exercise and lead by example. Take time out of each day to talk to your daughter so you can keep up with how she’s feeling and what’s important to her. We're all familiar with the saying "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Ask for your teen’s opinion. How your teenager thinks and feels about themselves stems in part from how her parents and friends see them (or their perception of that). What Is Weight … She is secretive or defensive about dieting. Her teenage daughter wanted to wear one. Practice it; don’t preach it. Talk to her doctor to gain information about the best ways for teens to get healthier. However, your daughter is aware she's put on a lot of weight. Your child's weight can be managed by controlling their access to sugary and fatty foods and making sure there is plenty of opportunity to be active. The more you accept your teen for who they are, the more they will be able to accept themselves. Aug 23, 2016 at 12:22 PM . How to Talk to Your Teenage Daughter About Women's Health Tweet. Her friends express concern. Parents often talk about how tough it is to talk to teenagers, how their kids won’t say anything or listen to them. Talk to your daughter about her intelligence, wit, interests, kindness, compassion, warmth. Your teen may not be as concerned about her weight as you are. Teenage girls have a way of getting under one’s skin—especially when you’re their parent. Teens need … He recommended picking a calm time to talk and addressing the issue unemotionally. Published 7 June 2013. How to talk to your teen about weight: Don't. … As a parent, you want nothing more than happiness and health for your teen. Like Mother, Like Daughter; Opening a conversation with your teen about weight and health can be difficult – these resources will get you started! She knows it every time she reaches for an article of clothing to wear that doesn't fit anymore. She may tune out your lectures about long-term health. By Heidi Stevens. In addition, you as her parent have the first hand in the foods she eats. Though you can start by asking how her day at school was, don't stop there. Girls with eating disorders have a distorted body image and continue to feel fat even when their friends don't share that view. Even if your daughter needs to lose weight, it’s best if the pediatrician breaks the news rather than her hearing it in the form of constant nagging by a parent. Share page. It is true that teenage girls are sensitive about weight and body image. To be honest, it can feel like teens don't really want to talk about personal subjects like this. I feel almost bereaved. Among elementary school girls, 40 to 60 percent are concerned about their weight … Listening rather than telling is crucial and reassuring. With teenage girls, the challenge grows larger—how do you create engaging, productive conversations without causing a fight? My friend wasn’t sure whether to let her. Foster self-esteem. 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